It's always darkest before dawn...

You've got the best of both worlds
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you're needy,
Humble but you're greedy
Based on your body language,
your shouted cursive I've been reading
You're style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It's like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
'Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
'Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And it's a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like, we are picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard
But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are

Finals are in say... 3 weeks? And I am lost in space.

Just played an N.U.Soccer friendly against SG Malays or something, and man I was surprised. Nazri Nasir at right back, Ali Imran at left back, Dalis Supait up front and Rafi Ali in the middle. Big names, big game. We took the lead, then surrendered to a 4-2 loss I think. Missied one penalty in the process. Damn I really wanted to take it, but Mr Sud was pretty confident. Next time I'm gonna ask for my turn! They ended the game with 9 men, if I'm not wrong. Bunch of rednecks really, whatta shame.

Now I'm falling asleep just like everytime I start posting an entry. :(

I need to practice CAD for tomorrows Unseen Tutorial Test, CIAO!

colonist, colonizer, developer, explorer,founder, frontier settler, guide, homesteader, immigrant, innovator, leader, pathfinder, pilgrim, scout, settler, squatter, trailblazer

haha. this is going to be interesting much.

i don't know what i want anymore.

I am so tired of being tired. I'm running myself ragged yet I'm not too sure why. I was reading my older posts and last sem, it was the same damn thing. Only now I have one more module, and its no more a joke. I've a commitment. More responsibilities. Plus I'm keeping the people that matter to me as close as possible. You just can't have everything can you? :D I can only smile a cynical smile at myself.

I think I'll have to rethink plans for tomorrow. I've got a fuckin' problem.

Us taz said something that flipped a switch in my head and now I'm perturbed. CCB. axe me.

I need to sleep. I should've known from the way I fell asleep halfway through The Ugly Truth earlier in the day at Cine. A great movie though. Enjoyed it much. Haha.

Now Ram called and asked me to join him and Vishal outside. I feel bad saying no, but I've no choice. I think alot of "no"s have to be said from now on.

AND now this black lizard pops its head out from the back of my whiteboard. KNN.

I hope sleep makes it all go away tomorrow, though I highly doubt it. GAH.

:(

It's exactly how I feel.

Must be the time of the day.

Finally slept after sahur yesterday, and woke at noon to get Bandit's tyres changed. 265 bucks flew away so that left me a bit down. Bandit was also acting up. Anything above 4000rpm and its not smooth and starts heating up waayyy too fast. Not good. Mechanic said there could be sediments inside or something like that. Whatever it is, it's slowly strangling the joy out of riding. :(

Got home and slept the some more. My life this month just revolves around sleeping and waking up. Its downright terrible. DAMN. I need to fix this ASAP. It's killing me.

Felt way better later at night cos Boss treated us to a comic play at Esplanade. A Korean martial arts performance which is hilarious and my kind of fun. I'd pay to watch it again. Following that, Liverpool played a great game and won. She then got home and we managed to get some net time. Dying for some airtime though.

I need to sleep. Got a game tomorrow morning. I hope the hip flexor's okay.

Sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do.

Dive headfirst into a mirage, and then realise I'm swimming in a cesspool.

Waging wars against the sheer complexities of a turbulent life, while still nestled in the warm embrace of my comforts.

No. We shall see where all this takes me. I'm just like that.

On an even more depressing note, I have a tonne of work to be sorted out yet I'm so chock-loaded with activities. Told myself that football will not be a priority this semester, but now I realise who am I kidding? A pat on the back from Coach makes it worthwhile though.

All these rain is bringin' me down down down. I know its rezeki and I love rain for the fact that its cooling, and sleep-inducing. I love riding in the rain despite knowing the conditions being more dangerous but I find it highly therapeutic just slow crusing while the world around you is a blur and all you feel is the sharp pitter-patter of cool water droplets. But I cannot afford to sleep so much and I don't ride in the rain much now cos its not safe and I've got better things to do. And football pitches all over are gonna be bogs and we'll be playing football in pig-sty-like conditions which is highly depressing and not fun.

Farewell Gr e e n dale Sec, and thanks for all the memories & wonderful people I've met there. Live long and prosper kids! 

Which reminds me of a near-death incident on my last day, Friday. These bunch of rascals were splashing water on each other and punting a football at the courtyard but I did not wish to scold them for what was I but a mere night tutor?

Next thing I knew whilst in class, the ball smashed a window panel into smithereens just 1 metre or so from where I sat. Thankfully no one from the class was injured and the girl who was supposed to sit at the table next to the window was at the canteen. Talk about luck eh?

"Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes"

and if you don't mind can you tell me all your hopes and fears and everything that you believe in, would you make a difference in the world?

i'm worried too.

Yasmin Ahmad passed away. Sigh. =(

Then all these emosi talk. STOPPIT EH.

But before that was awesome possum. "The days we believed we could flyyy..."
N U S suddenly seems a brighter place.

and then came bidding.

I just took a most refreshing shower and I could just knock off right now if it was not for the fact that I'm hungry. 190 minutes of soccer in 8 hours does that to you. Haha. I've been in my Nike tights (top AND bottom) since I put them on at 0730am until just now. From Clementi to Kolam Ayer to Marsiling all in the name of football.

X-S game in the morning where we drew despite having a 2 goal lead. Then Kolam Ayer tournament, where for the first time ever, Blazing Salvo actually got paid to play in a tournament. $10 also can la. We qualified and here's hoping we go all the way. Then I was convinced to agree to be thrown into the middle of a mini-Indian war at Si Ling Secondary. Two Indian teams who are mostly friends, playing against each other. Save for 1 Chinese (Eng) and 1 Malay (me). Got a whooping though, saw plenty of wonderful goals and insane dribbling.

As I drove to my final destination, I knew I had to blog about this. Its just how active I've been this entire week, and I'm thankful. To be in  the pink of health, when I know of people close to me who are down with terrible fever, flu and what not. Grateful is what I am. Now that my stomach's rumbling, I shall complete one of the best weekends with good old sushi. Wahoo!~

edit:

Now, I'm back from Hei Sushi and man! I'm in awe at the number of good-looking young ladies you can find in Sembawang. Around the SSC area at least. Heh heh.

I realised that I've been in exercise mode since I can't remember when. There was squash on thursday evening, badminton on friday. friday was also adidas boots shopping day. bloody bought myself two pairs. SHIOK ah retail therapy. haha. saturday, which was yesterday, had a futsal tournament at Kallang The Cage. disappointing loss though. forearm's still abit sore from the racket sports. fun though. 

thus, after fillin' up my petrol in like an hours time, i'm going home to watch liverpool on teevee and then sleep my way through monday. essential rest. tuesday swim/ aquatherapy, wednesday training. and so on and so forth.

no holidays from the looks of it.

my mom suddenly wants me to bake brownies and make Dillon's Lemon-Rosemary Chicken Breast thingy again. w-e-i-r-d.

In the past 24 hours, I've driven from KL to Malacca, slept, then drove from Malacca to Singapore to play a soccer match.

Now I'm just exhausted. Driving in Malaysia was not as gratifying as they claim it to be. I took over the wheel yesterday at Machap after breakfast and happily flitted between 120 and 150kmh until THE ROADBLOCK. Clocked doing 132kmh on the highway and now a hefty fine to pay on my maiden drive in our neighbouring country. After that of course lesson learnt, made it to Malacca for some really bland and unappetising lunch before heading to KL for a cousin's wedding. At midnight I struggled to keep awake and returned to Malacca safely. PHEW.

The only time I wasn't sleepy while driving was after brunch on the way to JB from Melaka. Woohoo! I guess I might be making more road trips up north.

Why does it send an electric pulse through me? Waste of time.

Should start on The IT Crowd Season 1 soon. New series to watch when everything else in not on TV.

So third place is achieved. Alhamdullilah. Honours clinched with my good friends and a pretty fitting finale. Alas I didn't get the goal I wanted. If I'd started the game, the penalty would obviously be one. Heh. Hopefully more exciting seasons to come. School tourney up next. Time to recover from this cough asap and pump the fitness levels once again.

So far, the two songs I've heard similarly titled as this entry are wonderful in my humble opinion. First was John Mayer's. Now Sara Bareilles comes along with her new single. Magnifique.



10 days I was there, and now I'm home. Dubai was a beautiful place. The sweltering heat from the scorching sun was mere punishment for the riches there. Of course that's only one part of Dubai. Now that's past, and I'll store the memories under lock and key in the corners of my mind. Home is feeling incomplete without father and brother. They're both wishing they were home, and so are we. Maybe my aunt was right. The people in this house are kept together by 'gravity'. We revolve around each other like stars to a planet and all seek shelter back to this place called home time and again. It's not right when one leaves for an extended period to a faraway place. Hah. Poor bro. I hope he's strong enough to pull through these months.

It makes me not want to stay in hall next semester though I've been allowed to choose my room as early as tomorrow. Monday. Tsk tsk. Oh plus financial considerations. So expensive. However results have proven I study better in hall. I guess the money's worth paying for better grades.

My stash from overseas: haversack, jeans, shoes, 2 tees, shirt and souvenirs. According to my calculation, that's close to 300 SGD. DAMN.

10 days or so since I touched a football. Tomorrow's the crunch match. Winning is the least we can aim. Allez X-S.

Singh gave me news today. Somehow unsurprising, but still unbelievable. Oh well, what are we to do but carry on in life. This has to be talked out with Khair.

I feel like I haven't accomplished much this holidays. Tsk tsk tsk. Still time for rectification.




Monday shall answer the question we've been waiting for with bated breath. Mastura Ahmad or Amy Mastura?

PLEASE LET IT BE THE LATTER.

Its the end of my second day here.

Went to the beach here (just 200 metres max. from the place I'm residing in) this afternoon, and I honestly cannot remember the last time I tasted seawater so salty that it stings your nose and throat if it gets in. I was hoping for cool water but when I dipped in, The Singh was right for once, well almost: the water was extremely warm. The Singh said it'll be boiling. Nevertheless, awesome sea. Lapping up the waves in the shallow water; relaxing.

Chilled at Starbucks (they're 3 of 'em in this entire row of shops) and watched fancy cars and bikes zoom past. OOH. How can I forget the fancy fancy people too. Haha. Nose sharp enough to cut my strawberry cheesecake, well-defined features and an amazing behind that could melt my caramel frappucino. Oh, that's just one person. =D

Yesterday, went to work with The Old Man. The monorail costs 15 Durham: approximately 7 SGD cos the rate's like Ringgit. For a flat rate to only 4 stations, it's insanely expensive. As with most things else here. Minus cars. I heard motorbikes cost more than cars. Sheesh. So disappointing. Saw my first Honda car here just now. Everything else is Continental or  American. Many Toyotas though. Audis, Hummers, Aston Martins, Ferraris...you name it.

AHH, this is holiday indeed.

If any of you have money to spare and need a suggestion for a honeymoon vacation, this MIGHT be it. Come in 5 years time, maybe there'll be more to see.

Woohoo! One academic year cleared, and thankfully I'm coping. Alhamdullilah.

Dubai is almost 100% confirmed. Can't wait to see my Dad (and psycho him to allow me to get a new ride). Haha. I'm being unfair. Staying in hall for another year is sure to cost a bomb, provided I get my place. If I don't, I don't know what I'm going to do.

What a semester the last has been. I guess all the victories came after calamity from the first sem. I can only keep trying for better semesters to come.

Caught up with old friends just now at a friend's Dad's wake. Hope he tides through. Anyways, I envy those who are supporting themselves while schooling (or  not). I enjoyed being financially independent (in NS) and that was possibly what enticed me to sign-on. Well, obviously it didn't happen and I'm not one to look back and regret. Now, I'm financially-dependent again and I yearn for the power and "freedom" of having my own money to spend. I'm proud to say that I paid for both my first and second motor-bikes. The likelihood of me buying a Duke Monster now is just.... not very possible. Hah. I hope more opportunities come my way. Time to make good use of myself.

From that paragraph I realised my main point of wanting to support myself is to buy a bike. Well, not entirely true cos I'd actually love to ease the burden off my parents. I can't stand it when I always make a conscious effort to not splurge and my younger brother drives the family car around and depends on people to top-up. Spends money like he earns it.

At first I didn't know whether to be glad or sad that he's off for 6 months to work and sail onboard a ship. It's been delayed time and again since he finished  Poly and now he's leaving the same day we're flying to Dubai. Well then I probably wouldn't miss him as much until I return to my room and realise I'm alone in it. That's a good thing. Room to myself = neater and cleaner. Can stay up late and read a book in bed cos he won't be around to insist on switching the lights off when he wants to sleep. And no more surprises whenever he forgets to flush the fucking toilet. DAMN. Thats number one on peeve my list.

Well, I might miss having someone around to DOTA with. And argue with. Do the family chauffeuring duties. Help me with computer stuff. Be irritating and not funny.

I guess thats life. Hope he fulfils his ambition to captain a ship and earn megabigbucks and buy me a Duke. HAHA.

Sleep in tomorrow morning. Wake up for football. Dinner. Lepak. AHHH...

When Ben Affleck proposed to Jen Aniston, I couldn't stop smiling. A great movie to catch whether you're a hopeless romantic or a deluded person. That female lead Gigi kept getting on my nerves though. Justin Long was the cool guy as usual, not gay like he was in Zack and Miri.

That was a looooong 2 hours.

Time to fall asleep thinking of more Teh Jokes.

Do I go to Dubai?
 What about X-S and 3rd place?
And Redang?

Save money?
Or be there with/ for my mom and bro?

I need to work to earn money.
Theres TIG to play, still.

I think I just had the best run of days in quite a long while. Really amazing. WOHOO!!! After days of boredom, I'm grateful. Just hope it tops off with a great match tomorrow.

Jasper just asked me online if Farrell sells hair products. Must have inferred from my FB wall post. I said yes. HAHAHA.

Anyways, it all started on Thurday morning. Went to Macritchie for a run. Supposed to run for an hour we ended up running for almost 2. Supposed to run a loop to end at Macritchie again, we ended up at Upper Thomson Road. The running buddy decided he's had enough and we took a cab back to Macritchie. HAHA. Don't WTF me. It was around 10km after a long period of not running. Went to "swim" and chill out right after that. Perfectly tiring but still managed to DOTA after that.

Then met Fah on Friday to just lepak @ Starbucks and boy she surprised me with the best birthday presents ever. HAHA. Albeit belatedly belated. Thanks! Celebrated Fau's bday after that and stuffed myself silly. Brother picked me up to go home with some Chinese chick in the front seat. Sneaky guy. Though I really don't think he followed my lead. Really. Haha.

Today was a little more happening being treated like VIP @ a Red Bull event. Helped a friend do crowd control @ the Flyer for the Red Bull X-Fighters show, which is some crazy motorcross stunt stuff. Rushed there straight after 5 hours under the sun doing sandcastles. Once I got the crew passes, it was dope hanging around Aide Iskandar, Paula Malai Ali and a totally random lost-looking minah who walked around the whole place alone looking lost and talking to the randomest guys. From Angmoh to Mat. Weird shit but Eng definitely couldn't take his tiny Chinese eyes off her.

Got autographs, drank freeflow Red Bull, ate cheese sandwiches and watched crazy stunts by insane riders (backflips to can-cans but no lazyboys) all while getting paid is a rewarding experience all thanks to my buddy D. Amazing how they did with such small ramps.

But of course the shifts guarding the VIP restroom area, handling mats who urgently need to use the toilets, were a little troublesome but nothing we can't handle (by not really handling).

So United have won the title. I think Asou-Ekotto is EPL's best left-back this season. I thought he was shite the first time I saw him play way back early in the season. Now he's just amazing since I saw him contain Ronaldo when they matched up in the League Cup Final, I think.

Found Claire-Jedrek's blog and it looks...sad, to say the least. Oh, she was hosting just now with Rod Monteiro for the event. Did oh-kay ah, though she sounds like she has some made-up accent. Definitely can brush up on her emceeing skills. Haha. PLUS point, she rides an Aprilia RS125 (jealous Dan? haha.) So just imagining that makes her uber hot on my list.

Okay I finally updated. Now to update my hilariously evil conversation with Jasper about Farrell selling Korean hair products on the team blog, and then I'll sleep well. Adieu.
 

i think it's going to rain. hopefully something light cos we're playing a match against members of Fake Madrid tomorrow morning.

Anyways exams are finally over (hurrah!) and I strolled around town today with good friends. Tried ice-cream from Marvelous Cream (yeah it's spelled that way) and I guess it was pretty good. Nothing spectacular though. Played more charades til late into the night and as I alighted from the MRT, I laid eyes on the coolest girl EVER. I told my friend there and then I was going to talk to her. 

I NEVER DID.

The only thing that comforts me is that probably it was just not meant to be and well, Liverpool won!

OK Fine, I'm a douche.

I'm finally quite sure I've recovered from that gastric/ mild food poisoning/ fever-related sickness. Phew. Took the killer physics paper today where everyone stepped out of the hall complaining. I heard "study so much also no use/ i didn't do 30 marks dei!/ hope i don't re-sit this/ re-sit ah!/ si liao" and the odd i-knew-everyone-wouldn't-be-able-to-do-it-that's-why-i-didn't-study smirk.

2 more to go.

Just watched Chuck Season 2 Finale and I am at a loss of superlatives for the series. If there's going to be a season 3, it's bound to eclipse season 2. Amazing stuff.

I'm not going to watch Chelsea-Barca tonight.
I'm not going to watch Chelsea-Barca tonight.
I'm not going to watch Chelsea-Barca tonight.
I'm not going to watch Chelsea-Barca tonight.
I'm not going to watch Chelsea-Barca tonight.


I shall go back to maths.

While...

She sounds like Ingrid with a little Norah and Cranberries with some smooth tunes.
Malaysia boleh!

I'm in love with Yuna's compositions. Sigh....

I thought Mr. Po Chai was THE man. But I guess only sort of. Those damn pills did plug the flow but it hasn't helped much in alleviating the pain from my stomach. Yes yes I suffer stomach cramps like a menstrual woman. I don't even know how painful theirs are.

Mine hurts as if Ron Jeremy's detached manhood just sliced through it.

Pain = sleep. Wake up = no pain. Minutes later...pain. Tahan awhile...no pain.

Who said no pain, no gain? Cannot study anything AT ALL. Everyday I feel like cutting open my stomach to see just what the hell is wrong with it. I don't even know whats the source of my sickness. I'm about to finish the prescribed medication and it obviously does not seem to be fucking working. If I ever see that doctor again outside.....

And I haven't seen another doctor because, I think they're gonna think I'm fucking joking again.

I'm just waiting for one day where I wake up and suddenly feel no more pain in my stomach for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, today was not it.